Future
If you could see the future, would you take that opportunity to learn what you would become and find out where the next however long will take you?
I don't know if I would. I would like to know, but then you might find out something about yourself and worry about it, and try to change it, and that would make the time we are living in much worse. I think if I had the opportunity, I would fast forward my life a year or 5, then I would be done with my bachelor's degree, and most of the way through my Masters. I would be married, have a decent job, and working hard at my masters. I would have a job all lined up for after I get my degree, a house, a decent car, and everything will be going smoothly.
Between then and now, who knows what is going to happen? They always say getting there is half of the fun, so I am looking forward to it. Making some great memories with my friends. Who knows though, I mean, we could all be blown off of the face of the earth by some stupid Nuclear warhead or something, or an asteroid that got too close to the earth and was pulled in by the gravitation. Or, on a smaller scale, I could get smashed by a falling piano while walking on campus one day, or get caught under a gas truck, that's the worst. I have been lucky so far in my life, I have never had to bury any of my friends, so hopefully I keep that streak going. My parents aren't that old, so I don't think I have to worry about that, but who knows.
All we can do is get up each day, and make the most of it, never settle for anything less than your wildest dream, because it might be the last chance you get to run through that flower filled meadow, or wish upon that shooting star, or hold that person you care about so much, or sing at the top of your lungs that song you have playing on the radio.
I read a quote recently by Ghandi or somebody, it said… Live each day as if it were your last, but learn as if you were going to live forever. I have been trying to live by that, but some days are tougher than others to not just take the easy road and say, well I can just make up for it tomorrow.
Enjoy the rest of your day, and have an even better tomorrow.
The way things are going
Last week may have been one of the worst weeks I have had in a long time. My watch broke, I had no idea where I was heading in life, I failed a physics test horribly, and kept dwelling on the negative things in my life. I was worrying about work, my parents, gas, passing my classes, and all sorts of things. At one point I was as close to a nervous breakdown as I have ever been in my life, and I am usually the epitome of calm. I don't get worked up over these small things.
When I woke up this morning, I decided that this week was going to be different, I was going to do my best to make it one of the best in recent memory. I made it to my classes on time, got out of my second one early, studied a little for my Calc test, and ate some of the best chicken I have ever had. I just need to make sure to pass my Calc test on Thursday. If I get a 63 on both this test and the final I pass the class with a C, and if I don't, then I have to retake the class, so I am getting at least a 63 on both tests. If I study well enough for this test, and pull out an 85 or something, then I just have to worry about making it to my final on time, which is an hour before the class normally starts. Why do they do that? Make me get up an hour earlier than I normally have to, and I have a heck of a time getting up as it is. I am going to take Alison to Coney Island one day this week, she has never been there, and it is a staple of Fort Wayne and I have many childhood memories from that place. Thursday night we are going out to eat with my parents, at a restaurant I could never afford, so I am kind of excited for that. Friday and Saturday I am completely free, so I am sure we will all meet up and have a good time, so I am excited for this week. The only thing that could bring me down would be failing that Calc test, and I am not going to let that happen.
Have a good week everyone.
Summer
Summer is usually one, if not the best seasons of the year, ( I know it isn't that hard since there are only 4…) but I am a little afraid of this summer, and what I mean by that is I am absolutely terrified. I know that there is nothing that can be done, and that I will just have to make a little more effort and everything will work out, or not, and if it doesn't then it wasn't meant to be, and I will be better off because of it. Either way I think I will be better off because of it, but I am just dreading everything. Work, volleyball conditioning, work, the heat, Alison going home, not ever seeing my friends, and sunburn. I just need to stop worrying about it and do my best to make it the most enjoyable summer I have ever had, and then even if it isn't the best ever, it will at least be better than if I sit and dread its arrival every second of the day. Summer vacation is only 4 weeks away, and I can't sit here and lie and say I haven't been counting down the days, because I am sick to death of homework and tests and quizzes and the whole learning environment, but I am still a little afraid. Oh well, let's see how it goes.
NB
My sister
Today would be my sister, Celeste's, 16th birthday, and I think back at the little time we actually got to spend with her, and it really makes me sad, because now she would be nearly a woman, and it would be a lot of fun. Her, Cory, and I were like pees in a pod, we got along great, and Cory and I still get along pretty awesome most of the time, and just thinking of having another person around like us makes me smile, because I know the laughs she would bring and the good times. And Cory and I would be able to protect her, always look out for her and be there for all of her problems. I wonder what kind of a person she would have become, what she would look like, if she would be athletic how tall she would be all sorts of things. It really makes me value the time that I spend with my friends and family because I know that tomorrow I might wake up and they might be gone, and there are so many things that were never said or done, because I sometimes take the time we have together for granted. I just wish that I could see her now, see what she would've become if she hadn't gotten sick, who she would be. I think what I really want to know the most is what kind of a person would I be because of the influence she would have on me.
I love and miss you little sis.
Happy sweet 16.
Siege
I have a friend that I call Siege. He is usually an idiot, and says some of the dumbest things in the world, but every once in a while he has the most insightful thing, or best advice I have ever heard. Sometimes hearing this makes me want to cry, because how can he be such an idiot one minute, but then say the smartest thing I have ever heard the next? It also makes me mad because it is hard to make fun of anyone that comes up with great advice. So I tend to ignore it, but then I have to end up using it later on, because it is good advice, and then I feel like a jerk for not doing it right away. Maybe one day he will be like Dr. Phil.
